Meg-John Barker on the Unstoppable Podcast

091: Rewriting the Rules of Relationships with Dr. Meg-John Barker

Episode Overview

The final part of the New Year Transformation series is all about RELATIONSHIPS!

Our intimate relationships can have a profound impact on our overall quality of life so cracking the code of what makes a “successful” relationship is absolutely vital.

Unlike business, which is limited only to those who have had the courage to start an entrepreneurial venture, most of us have had at least some experience when it comes to intimate relationships no matter how successfully those relationships may have been, so we all have some perspective and perhaps some intense feelings about the topic!

So, to help us delve into this topic I sought out an expert who has dedicated their professional career to understanding relationships. Our guest today is Dr. Meg-John Barker, MJ for short! MJ is a writer, therapist, and activist-academic specialising in sex, gender and relationships.

DISCLAIMER In this episode we are talking about human relationships, including gender and sex so if you aren’t ready to have an adult conversation where we talk about adult concepts then please skip to a difference episode!

About Dr Meg-John Barker

Meg-John is a senior lecturer in psychology at the Open University and has published many academic books and papers on topics including non-monogamous relationships, sadomasochism, counselling, and mindfulness, as well as co-founding the journal Psychology & Sexuality and the activist-research organisation BiUK.

MJ’s popular books include the (anti-)self-help relationship book Rewriting the RulesThe Secrets of Enduring Love (with Jacqui Gabb), Queer: A Graphic History (with Julia Scheele), and Enjoy Sex, How, When and If You Want To (with Justin Hancock). They were the lead author of The Bisexuality Report – which has informed UK policy and practice around bisexuality – and are currently co-editing a book on non-binary gender with similar aims in that area. They are involved in running many public events on sexuality and relationships, including Sense about Sex and Critical Sexology.

Meg-John is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist working with gender, sexually, and relationship diverse clients,

Listen on iTunes and Stitcher

In this episode you will learn:

  • How to understand and embrace your partners sexual preferences in a relationship
  • How to use love languages to develop a deeper understanding of how to express love to your partner (and why your partner expresses love in a certain way to you!)
  • How greater vulnerability can help resolve conflicts in a relationships
  • How to be your complete authentic self within a relationship without the need for compromise
  • How to break down the barriers and address sexual incompatibility in your relationship

Episode Resources:

Rewriting The Rules – An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships

The Secrets of Enduring Love: How to make relationships last

Mentioned within this episode:

Pema Chodron  –

Connect with Meg-John online:





Unstoppable Resources:

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