What are you commmited to? Exploring your unconscious commitments on The Unstoppable Podcast with Dan J. Gregory

048: What Are You Committed To?

Have you ever been frustrated with yourself for not achieving a certain result or felt disappointed because you did not follow through on something that you know would have given you great rewards?

Most people have an area of life where they stand in their own way and thereby themselves prevent themselves from getting what they really want.

Last week I spent 2 whole days in self coaching mode preparing for the 2nd half of the year and I went extremely deep to understand where I am winning, where I am failing and what is holding me back from achieving my highest goals and dreams.

I put myself through what could be the most powerful process that I have ever experienced and I came out with many life changing breakthroughs that I am confident will radically transform my business and life over the coming days, weeks and months.

In today’s episode I walk through a very powerful part of this breakthrough process to help you uncover what you are committed to the most, so get ready to participate and take notes – this episode will change your life.

Listen to today’s show on iTunes and Stitcher now!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Most people fail, not because of lack of desire, but because of a lack of commitment” – Vince Lombardi

THE DEBRIEF

My top 4 lessons from my interview with Ben Simkin in the final part of the MEGA Business Series:

1) Highest and best use theory…

Get the highest and best use out of whatever asset you have. Ben gave the example:

If you inherited a old rickety 3 bed cottage in Las Vegas strip between 2 massive hotels…in today’s market the cottage could be worth $200k, however the highest best use is not a $200k real estate deal, it would be to build to a casino that would eventually be worth $400-500m!

As an entrepreneur, the only real thing we have is our time…

  • Am I doing something that could be delegated?
  • Am I selling the right product or service?
  • Could I be selling my product or service at a higher profit margin?
  • Am I using the right business model?
  • Could I be serving my clients a lot better? More holistically?

The lesson I learned is to drill down on everything that I am doing and ask myself every day:

“Is what I am doing right now, the highest and best use of my time?” 

2) Never take NO for an answer…

“IF you knew that your client would benefit greatly, their life would change by attending your workshop or event, or buying your product or service and that was going to be very impactful – don’t take NO for an answer.”

3) The 2 second rule :

If people feel that “This ad is speaking to me, my problems and my goals” then they will click on it within 2 seconds! The goal is to make sure that the end user feels like the ad was destined for them as a person individually, (not as a group)  based upon their specific circumstances . If you achieve this then they will click!

4) Never Give Up!

The do or die mentality…keep going and don’t give up. Always take the lessons from your challenges and apply those lessons throughout your life. Always be willing to TRY

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Today I ask “What are you committed to?” 

I spoke at the beginning of the episode about a breakthrough process that I put myself through last week where I made some profound distinctions and I am going to kick off with a bold statement.

What I am about to say may come as a bitter pill for some of you, but what I have come to realise is that;

‘the exact results you are currently experiencing, are the exact results that you are currently committed to.’

Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you are always creating precisely what you’re most committed to.  If your life is not a reflection of what you say you want, it means that there is something else that you’re unconsciously MORE committed to having or experiencing, than what you claim to want or desire. The exact outer results you are experiencing in your life and business are a direct reflection of your deepest internal commitments known as your unconscious commitments – a concept I was first made aware of by Marci Lock in episode 35.

Most of us think that we’re going after what we want in the world, most of us think we want what we say we want, BUT when our lives do not reflect what we say we want, it’s because there are a set of unconscious commitments that are driving us.

I know I know…. I can hear you arguing back, you say you are not committed to being poor, you are not committed to being overweight, you are not committed to being single etc. etc. you don’t want these things!!

So WHY are you experiencing these things?

You set a goal to do X and have Y, yet you’re consistently doing things that either keep you right where you are, or things that actually take you in the entirely opposite direction!!

Let’s say for example you wanted to leave your corporate job behind and create your own online business;

You might start doing research, making plans but when you find yourself standing still and failing to take the required action then here’s some radical honesty…Your lack of results are what you are committed to. You are making unconscious commitments to stay exactly where you are.

If you were truly committed to the results that you supposedly want, then you would either have them now, or at least by rapidly on the way to having them! The results we have in our lives right now show us what our unconscious commitments are. It is vital to understand that the choices we make are always in alignment with our deepest commitments. We think, or tell ourselves, we’re committed to one thing but deep down we’re actually committed to something else

I’m not here to tell you what you want to hear. I’m here to jolt you today and help you get what you want. You see, although we like to think that our desires are driven by what we consciously choose, there is a far more powerful force at play.

When you struggle and fail to create and achieve what you want, you can be certain that there’s a conflicting, hidden commitment to some other result or life condition.

Our unconscious commitments are primarily based upon how we perceive the world, who we believe ourselves to be and what we believe ourselves to be capable of. Our unconscious commitments drive our thoughts, our beliefs and most importantly our decisions; these are the unseen forces that shape our reality.

These perceptions are often forged unconsciously at an early age- for example if you grew up in a challenging environment as a child, you may decide that the world is ‘challenging’, unconsciously, you then become committed to this world view and proceed to create it again and again until you consciously realise what you are doing – this becomes the script for who you are and how you live life!

In contrast, think of someone who perhaps grew up in a truly loving environment, where they always felt encouraged and supported…imagine how THIS person’s life could be different to the person in the previous example?

As we move through life we capture experiences which directly and indirectly influence our beliefs about ourselves and form part of our unconscious commitments. For example, the innate feelings of being unlovable, or not being enough or feeling unworthy are all prime examples of deep rooted belief that unconsciously shape our reality.

These underlying unconscious commitments are responsible for the gap between what you say you want and what you actually experience.

So, how do you know what you are unconsciously committed to?  It’s simple. Take a look around. We can always tell exactly what we’re most committed to by looking at the circumstances that are present in our lives right now

What do you have?

  • Do you have chaos, confusion, overwhelm…?
  • Do you have peace, love, happiness, abundance?

If you see a pattern of experiencing what you do not want and it is repeated on more than 1 or 2 occasions, you can be sure you have an unconscious commitment to whatever is actually happening in your life.

For example:

If life feels hectic and overflowing with tasks that need completing, emails that need answering and calls that that need returning… are you unconsciously committed to overwhelm?

If you’ve found yourself falling into an old pattern of overeating when your relationships get difficult… are you committed to numbing your emotions with food?

Initially it can be a very uncomfortable thing to acknowledge that you may be unconsciously committed to avoiding the very thing you say you want but it is the first key to getting out of your own way. Let go of the bullshit and confront the truth. If you were committed to different results, you would be experiencing different results.

THE SOLUTION

The good news is that conscious awareness is the first step to creating change. We can all overcome our unconscious commitments and unblock the flow of success in any area of our life. By clearly and honestly examining our decisions and our actions, we can discover what our deepest commitments are and uncover the inner blocks that are getting in the way of our success.

Once we uncover our inner blocks, we’re able to let go of what no longer serves us by consciously making new commitments to support the life that we want to create.

I’m about to share the steps that I went through to uncover my unconscious commitments and make some new decisions about how I am committed to experiencing life. I encourage you to think about your own life and the areas where you may have unconscious commitments that stop you achieving the results you want as we go through these steps:

To make a change the first thing you have to do is take responsibility. This means firstly, having the radical self-honesty to accept that the only obstacle you are facing is yourself, and secondly having the CONSCIOUS commitment to turn the situation around.

What are you unconsciously committed to?

1) Look at what you want.

First bring to mind your most important goals and objectives – the results that you consciously desire to achieve in your life.

Allow yourself to see and feel what your life would look like if you already had achieved those goals and desires. What would life be like for you? How would it make you feel knowing that you had attained these outcomes for yourself? Allow yourself to feel the feelings of having already achieved your greatest aims and objectives.

Own these desires as your conscious intentions. If you struggle to identify what it is that you want the most then it is almost certain that you are living entirely by your unconscious commitments and life is happening to you rather than by deliberate design. The first key to is to know what you truly want.

Let’s use an example to bring this to life, let’s assume you want to create your dream business and your current goal is to earn $10k per month…

2) Confront your current reality

Look at your actual results; where are your results out of alignment with your goals? Identify the non-desirable recurring issues or results for each of your core objectives and goals within your life and business and write these out to see the gap between what you want and what you are experiencing right now.

To use our example, you could be earning less than $1k per month in your business and be struggling to meet ends meet month to month.

3) Identify your unconscious commitments

The next step is to confront the brutal reality. People are often so busy, fast, and so furiously in GO mode that they do not stop and slow down enough to take a look at the real issue and keep going regardless. Today we are going to break the chains that bind us.

Look at the patterns in your life. Allow yourself to become aware of all of the thoughts, behaviours and actions that have taken you further away from achieving your goal and desires.

  • What patterns does the current reality of your life reveal to you?
  • What are the choices or decisions that you have made that are inconsistent with accomplishing your goal or fulfilling your aims?

Take a deep breath and allow yourself to recognise the self-limiting thoughts and actions that have disempowered you. Notice those that have come from a place of fear, or those that have been shaped by the experiences within your past.

Now as you become aware of all the thoughts, behaviours and actions that have limited you or prevented you from accomplishing your goals, give yourself permission to take full responsibility in a way that is free from judgement and without making yourself in any way wrong – take a moment freely admit to yourself, “yes, I made those decisions,” or “yes, those are my thoughts and feelings” or “yes, I did or did not take those actions.” This is about taking ownership.

Now that you see the pattern, it’s time to find the truth. What is it really that you have been committed to? What is the unconscious commitment that has caused you to make these self-limiting decisions and think these self-limiting thoughts?

Simply ask yourself, “what could I possibly be more committed to than achieving my desire?”

Take a deep breath and become aware of the underlying commitment that has been controlling this particular area of your life. What have you been unconsciously committed to up until now?

As you get, write it down and accept it without judgement. This is essential. If you judge yourself for your unconscious commitment, you will reinforce the pattern and the commitment will just go deeper and continue to control your life.

In our example, you have failed to achieve the $10k per month and you are earning less than $1k per month and struggling to meet ends meet month to month. Through this process you realise that you are unconsciously committed to early less than $1k per month because deep down you feel unworthy and as a result you have been playing small and you have failed to take the action necessary to create your dream business and earn the 10k you think that you want. Your unconscious commitment to being poor, feeling unworthy and playing small is holding you back.

Being able to go below the surface to deeper understand your unconscious commitment is the next key to change. We will start by identifying everything that you have gained by living with these unconscious commitments….

4) Identify the “payoffs” you’re getting from living these unconscious commitment?

In most cases you will find that there have been many payoffs that have resulted in you keeping your unconscious commitments. What are all the things that your unconscious commitments have provided you with?  Ask yourself “What is everything that I gain from keeping this unconscious commitment going?”

Using our example, by playing small you have kept yourself safe from taking excess risks, you have avoided criticism or rejection by failing to put yourself out there, you have less responsibility than you would if you had the 10k per month business.

It’s important to understand the payoff because you can now begin to see why you have continued to experience the results that you have, however we are going to create change by overpowering these perceived payoffs with the pain that these limiting patterns have caused.

5) What is the pain that your unconscious commitments are creating in your life?

Think of all the ways these unconscious commitments have held you back and how you feel.

  • What have you missed out on because of these limiting patterns?
  • What are you missing out on right how?
  • What will you miss out on in the future because of these unconscious commitments?
  • What freedoms are you sacrificing?
  • What is it costing you to live by these unconscious commitments?
  • What has this cost you emotionally, financially, physically?
  • What relationships have you lost or missed out on because of these unconscious commitments?
  • What are you tolerating in your life because of this unconscious commitments?

Write down all the pain –

How does living with these unconscious commitments make you feel?

Using our example, you are missing out on creating the impact that you want, you feel ashamed that you are struggling financially, you have missed out on the holidays you want to go on, you have to avoid social occasions because you can’t afford it, your unconscious commitments have cost you your self-esteem, your confidence is low and you are retreating deeper inside of yourself because of the pain you feel.

It’s important to realise and acknowledge that up until now your choices have been in alignment with your unconscious commitments and whilst these underlying commitments have held you back from your conscious desires, the reality is that you have been attaining exactly the results that you have been MOST committed to. It is also important the realise that by consciously shifting your commitments, you can and will create something new.

It’s time to decide what unconscious commitments you are ready to immediately leave behind.

6) What unconscious commitments would I like to leave behind?

Take deep breath and ask yourself what current unconscious commitments you now choose to give up in order to move closer to your goals?  What are the specific thoughts, habits or behaviours that are tied to this old commitment that do not serve you in moving toward the fulfilment of your goals and dreams?

Write these down.

Now ask yourself,

  • “What needs to happen right now that will allow me to give up these old unconscious commitments for good?”
  • “What do you need that will enable you to feel ready to give up these limiting patterns?”

Let your intuition guide you.  When the answers come – write them down.

Using our example, to create the 10k per month business you are ready to leave your scarcity mind-set behind, you no longer want to play small and you are ready to experience greater prosperity in your life.

As we begin to now look forward again it is time to…

7) REDEFINE your commitments – What new commitments would you like to make consciously?

Go back to your highest wants, desires and goals once again. Before you set your new commitments it is important to get ruthlessly clear about what your ultimate outcomes look like. Be clear on exactly what you want, how you are going to get there and the milestones required for you to reach your destination.

To commit to something means blocking out other possible alternatives while focusing all your attention and efforts onto your definitive objectives. When you commit you make an important decision to burn your bridges and pursue one clear path towards your desired destination.

Legendary business and leadership guru Peter Drucker said, “unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans.

Making your commitments consciously significantly narrows down the actions that can, and should be taken to achieve your goal. The plan then becomes exactly that… a restricted set of actions derived from your commitments without which, your goal is much more likely to remain a hope than a reality.

  • What are you now committed to having, doing and experiencing in your life and business?
  • Who are you now committed to becoming?
  • What decisions are you now committed to make that will support you in moving toward the fulfilment of your goals and dreams?
  • What actions are you now committed to that will move you consistently in the direction of your goals?

Be as specific as possible so you can vividly imagine it – commit to “the what” and “the why” even if you do not know the how yet….

Using our example:

The what: I’m committed to achieving $10k per month by creating new content every single week and creating a compelling signature offer that I will consistently market to my target audience.

The why: I want to create amazing results for my clients, I want to be financially free so that I can create my ultimate lifestyle and take care of those I love

Get clear on your conscious commitments now and draw a line under the past.

8) Be one hundred percent all in

Are you truly committed to achieving your goals or are they just dreams? Without commitment, you will fail to give the path to your goal your full attention and energy.

Make the decision to give 100% of your mental and physical energy to your commitments, even when you feel like you don’t want to. Go all in.

What’s the worst thing that could happen if you decided to wholeheartedly commit yourself to achieving your goals? Allow your conscious commitment to become your predominant daily thoughts. Accept the restrictions of choices and actions that result from such singular concentration in pursuit of total focus.

9) Set yourself up to win.

Write out who you WILL choose to BE and what you will choose to experience and do over the next 30 days, 90 days, 1 year…?

This powerful process will enable you to experience your new commitments in advance by seeing exactly how you want your future to play out. This is about living with your new commitments intentionally.

In addition, set up a daily practice that will support you to fully give up your old unconscious commitments.

What specifically do you need to do to make your new commitments part of your daily routine from now on?

What kind of reminders, practice or other structure do you need to put in place to help you let go of your previous unconscious commitments and embrace your new commitments?

You could compile a list of everything that you stand to gain by making these new commitments and your reasons WHY you will commit going forward – this is something you can refer to if you find yourself losing motivation as you move forward to maintain your commitment and resolve.

Finally,

10) Anticipate the road ahead

Putting practices in place to keep you on track is one thing, but we are bombarded with potential distractions so being able to pro-actively eliminate your potential obstacles and road blocks in advance is the key to ongoing success:

To keep the focus on your commitments it important to anticipate the road ahead:

1) What could hold you back from fully committing to your goals? ASK YOURSELF what it will cost you now and if the future if you fail to keep your commitments.

2) What are all the potential distractions that could derail you?

3) What are all the challenges that you could face in pursuing your goals?

4) What are the potential pitfalls that you may need to overcome?

5) What support systems can you put in place to ensure that you remind committed?

By anticipating the road ahead, you will be able sidestep the pitfalls, overcome the challenges and avoid the distractions that come your way.

It’s time to make your life a masterpiece – you have the pen; it is time to write a new script.

THIS WEEKS UNSTOPPABLE CHALLENGE:

Your challenge this week is to review these 10 steps to uncover your unconscious commitments and consciously create new commitments to help you achieve your goals and dreams. Listen back over this episode and go through each step to create the necessary changes.

FREE WEBINAR: Discover how to launch your own high value signature program…

During the training I will walk you through the steps that I am personally taking to launch a brand new high end signature online program and take it from $0 to over $20k within the next 28 days.

The purpose of the webinar is to provide you with a roadmap so that you can model the exact steps to create your own high end course or program and attract a predictable flow of high value clients to YOUR business…even if you are just starting out or you do not have a marketing budget to spend.

Here’s what I’m specifically going to be covering in today’s 90-minute training webinar…

  • HOW TO DEVELOP YOUR SIGNATURE PROGRAM so that you can position yourself an authority in your marketplace and create the most transformational results by attracting your ideal clients
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  • HOW TO DELIVER YOUR SIGNATURE PROGRAM and run your entire business in just a few hours per week (if you want to)
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  • HOW TO ENROL AT LEAST 5 HIGH PAYING CLIENTS INTO YOUR SIGNATURE PROGRAM within the next 28 days

REGISTER HERE

Thank you for listening to the Unstoppable Podcast!

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Until next time – remember you are unstoppable – go out there, unleash your greatness, build your empire and live your ultimate life!

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2 Responses to 048: What Are You Committed To?

  1. Michael July 21, 2016 at 02:27 #

    Dan,

    This was the most powerful episode for me by far! It brought up a lot of emotion, mostly anger within myself but it made me realize where I struggle most and why and what I’ve been avoiding most of my life. The word “responsibility” is a huge trigger for me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and I will be replaying this particular podcast over and over until I get past this major block.

    Keep up the great work it’s very much APPRECIATED.

    I will see you at the top.
    ~Michael

    • Dan July 21, 2016 at 06:26 #

      Michael – thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear that this was a powerful episode for you, its my deepest episode yet. You are not alone – in going through this process myself I found many areas I was not comfortable with and indeed angry at myself for being unconsciously committed to these particular outcomes…but it can all be changed! Change your commitments, change your life! See you at the top! Dan PS If you think this episode could help others please do share it on social media.

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